Quote: For many men I think that meeting her needs along these lines would be more natural if she met our sexual needs from the perspective of what we need; and vice versa: if men met their wives needs maybe they would in turn become more sexually involved.
We men simply cannot treat this as we would a business deal. The operate word in the above quote is "IF"... ( it's used twice)
It's NOT about sex........it's about intimacy...and REALLY knowing the lady......having her trust you enough, to be able to tell you all that she would tell a girlfriend. ~Communication.~
I DO housework. You know why? Because she works all day at the office.....and I simply dont expect her to come home and work even more. She doesnt have to ask me, nor bribe me.....I just do it because I love her...and want to help out. This is important to her. It was easy to notice that she appreciates it. I like the look on her face when she walks in the door.
We men dont LISTEN to the non verbal communications that women transmit sometimes. She shouldnt HAVE to ask us.... ( that seems to be some of their attitudes...and that's OK with me.)
Each lady is different. Getting to know them is the fun part. I was with a wonderful lady for 20 years and knew her better than her own family. But I didnt know enough.
My hindsight is 20/20, of course. I may make mistakes with my new lady........but they certainly wont be the same ones that I made before.
Lack of sexual drive in a lady is a SYMPTOM of other issues that we men miss in our evaluation process. It is a by product....and rarely the issue itself.
She needs to receive something she isnt presently getting, in order to feel close enough to you to want to give of herself.
I liked the hairband example from the female poster above. These are the kinds of things that this particular lady responds to. My new lady is the same way. I drove her Pathfinder one day last month and noticed that it needed new shocks. I didnt make a big deal about it. I just bought them and installed them. I expected nothing.
But you know what happened ? She said "Thank you baby !"...with a genuine sparkle in her eyes and smile on her face.
She felt loved. Period. That's all it took for her that day.
Listen to her heart. It doesnt yell at you....but it is quietly trying to tell you something. And when you learn it's language........you're in for a real treat ! The intimacy begins to return. The closeness. Then the lust...but only for the man she loves.
This is a learning process...and once you begin to see and HEAR......it's a wonderful ride ! ( no pun intended..) ( Ok...I lied....maybe a small pun !)
