How to win my wife back? HELP!!

[smileysmile1966]

Thanks guys for your input.
EnergyAZ...I am sorry about your situation.
There is no other man involved is there?

My estranged wife tells me she is now not interested in other man who apparently showed her attention in work. He has now left, say about 2 1/2 mths ago. It wouldn't work out anyway. I know that. It was a 'quick fix' as somebody pointed out.
My ex even said it was the attention and he pursued her blah blah
She tells me she is just concentrating on our D who is 13 mths and herself and that I have emotionally damaged her. She says she will never trust a man again
That kills me. This doesn't mean she is not going to have the odd physical contact with this OP. Maybe she will. No strings. No emotional attachment.
She says he just phones up now and again and is going through a S with his W. So he has his own problems.
I am not sure whether to believe her because she has her needs.

I made her very angry 2 nights ago
You see she has a train travel spouse pass and relies on it now she is a single parent with a part time job, mortgage etc.
Because of my emotions being all over the place and the way she is still angry with me the mention of this pass being taken off her because we are no longer together she explodes with anger, and I guess this is the wrong way to get her if i want her back.

I dropped our D off and I brought it up. Also the divorce because I wanted closure. Because she had said she hated me and wish she never had to see me again. I calmly said I want the pass back. She kicked me out of the house. Trust me she was ANGRY.
As I walked down the driveway she opened the door back up and shouted **** was a better sh*g than you!
Thats how angry she was. Taunting me about other man.

I never retaliated. Or neither did I texted her that night. I left it until the night after. I just said simply "thanks for taunting me about.....a bit below the belt. I am not going to get ugly or hateful but I am going to let what I had said last night lie..I think you should seek a counsellor for your pent up anger, I need twice the amount now."

She replied with this.."the ONLY reason I get so angry with you is cos u dnt see my point on that pass! I always start fine with you but then u say stuff different to other times ie letting me keep the pass as long as possible etc then change ya mind a day or so later cos I say something you dnt like. The only reason I want to keep it is to make money easier. I have had to fork out £330 this month for the nursery even on xmas day and new year even though they were closed. Any money I save on the train goes towards that. I have to see u cos of ****** (daughter) so there will be no closure like we would like. So don;t be cruel as to not help me out way for as long as you possibly can. Thats all I ask. My anger comes out when u try and belittle my concern and then why we split. Otherwise I wouldn't mention it. I have anger at you only when I see you and you don't help me and ***** out in any way you can. As for me. I will never trust men now and you have emotionally damaged me, but that is my problem, u have no rite telling me what I should do or harp on how I damaged u last night."

I know, doesn't sound good eh?
Well I did manage to see my doctor yesterday and he has refered me to a cousellor in 4 weeks time.
I cried when I was there. I told him the truth about my anger.
Only when I am frustrated and my ex said she thinks my issues are deep rooted, engrained in me from youth.
Probably a little to late because my ex wanted me to 'change' and sort it out mths ago.
She says she has this switch which when switched off won't switch back on. Thats just her, she said.

Any lady on here can give me more insight into this 'switch' please? Maybe God can only switch it back on.

My doc said if you were the cause of the breakup then I should let her keep the pass to help her out. Gawd I need a slap!!
It was only because of this other man that I was going back and forth with this pass.
I need to stay focussed and stay in control from NOW ON.

PLEASE God give me the strength for endurance.

I know that some of what she tells me is not the truth.
ie to keep the pass she tells me that she is not seeing anybody or interested in anybody. Maybe telling me that because she needs this pass. I said once if she was seeing somebody I want the pass back. But I am backing off now.