Thanks so much for all the helpful advice! I think I will pretty much follow all of it! He called from work today for something, and the only comment I made was, "So at some time soon I suppose we should fill out those calendars for [son]." He sighed and said, "Yeah, I know we need to do that", but he sounded a little regretful (I am sure I read into things though). He goes on a cattle trip out of state with his best guy friend from back home (that guy is a really good guy, so much so that my H hasn't told him about his A or the pending separation bc he doesn't want the best friend to hate him) in 5 days, and the day after he gets back, we are telling S about the separation, the next day H leaves. So we have 5 days to figure out our visitation for the first few weeks, and what exactly we plan to say (D is 20 months so we are only explaining to S). But I have decided I will say and do nothing more regarding the separation because he is the one who decided to move, so he needs to take the initiative. I will not tell him what to pack or what he needs for the kids, I won't give him any guidelines re. dating others, dating me, etc. The only thing I will do is set up the calendar of who spends time with the kids when. And I won't do that until he brings up making the calendars. And I will leave it to him if he wants to schedule "Family Days" or not, I will just worry about his days/my days with the kiddos. You are right, he was raised by a mom who planned his every move, which I know he resents, but also I know means he hasn't ever really had to do things all for himself. So I will let him figure out how is going to live his "Separated" life, and I will worry about mine. And of course, give love to the kiddos the whole time. And his parents and siblings know the situation so far, and so do mine. But we haven't told anyone else. I think I will leave it to immediate family only. Besides, I kind of see the not telling his friends/coworkers as a good thing bc maybe he is thinking that it will be easier for us if/when we get back together if fewer people know. If he was out shouting it from the rooftops, I would be more afraid that he is done trying with me.Thanks again!
