Hi, I've been following your post because in many of it you sound like you could have taken then words right off my mouth. I always thought that men and women see intimacy in a very different light but from what I've read, its not very different at all. We all need to be needed and wanted by our spouses. I am the HD W in my M and I have trouble understanding why it got this way. H doesn't talk about it and I feel like an old shoe to him now. I've told him that even an old shoe sometimes needs a polish. No response. I've told him how much I miss his smell and his kiss. I now get goodnight pecks on the lips. Its an improvement since I had to be the one to give goodnight pecks on the cheeks before this. Nothing remotely passionate or sensual. I just don't get it. I mean if I were him and my W tells me how crazy she is about me and how much she misses me, I would say "Come here" then give her a big kiss and a hug. What is so difficult about that? Instead when I tell him how I'm yearning for him, he tells me I'm stressing him. I mean, I feel stressed up and in need of sleep too and what better way to destress and get better sleep than to connect with the one you love in an intimate way.
Sorry, I'm digressing. I'm responding to your curiousity post to females in general. In my opinion, women are not such visual creatures like men but smells does what sight does not. I love my H's natural smell or certain colognes he uses or the smell of him fresh from a shower, or after a beer (not five!), or sometimes even all sweaty too. I agree that your W may have gotten immune to the old cologne. Try something new with the same base ingredients or use a different one for sometime then revert to the old familiar smell.
Hope that helps and hope you have a nice weekend. How about trying room service and a bottle of champayne. In the good old days before my M became SSM H and I enjoyed that very much. In the meantime work on the afffection part. You don't have to leave touching your W to just when you are alone and in bed. You can include your girls. I love it when I hold my baby in my arms and H comes and hugs both of us in his arms or play peek a boo with baby behind my shoulders. Or you could encourage your girls to give mummy a massage while you are having family time. One girl in charge of hands, one in charge of feet and you massage the shoulders. I don't know a W who could reject a H in this situation. Mother's Day is coming. Why don't you take your girls shopping for a gift for mummy on your own so that your W gets to do her own thing. It will do wonders to rejuvenate her. I read in a research that the most stressed up individuals are working mothers with young children. It is not easy to be constantly in demand of your kids, your boss, your H. You lose yourself in the process. You hardly have any time for yourself. These days, even finishing the papers and drinking a cup of tea or coffee uninterupted is a luxury to me. Pamper your W, let her find herself again before she reconnects with you. Another thing that crosses my mind is the fact that is she working because she wants to or for financial reasons. Some women get so torn up with guilt etc when they can't take care of their kids themselves. Do you know what are her stresses? Reduce them and hopefully she will find time to be in the mood again. Just a women't perspective of things for you. Maybe it will help, maybe not. Maybe you can give me a men's perspective in my post. LH
