I am kind of new to the board and almost 3mths into my own seperation. I don't think you should start R talks. I don't think you should completely foil your DB efforts. I would let him bring up R talks. I think you should act as though you are comfortable with the seperation. I know it stinks and my issue would be why does he want to still move given his decision to try and work on things. I can understand the need for space for clarity. Personally, I think I would avoid asking questions about seeing other people. I know it seems like there should be some guidelines, but I am not sure if asking about guidelines will help anything. I mean if he is going to be with OW or have an affair he is going to do it weather you put guidelines on him or not. Guidelines might just make him lie about it. Since the affair was just in Nov I might question weather it is completely over. I would not set guidelines. If you don't want to date then you don't date and if you find someone that you might potentially want to be friends with then I would say OK. That is the chance he is taking when he decided to still seperate. Also, leave the questions regarding furniture and getting stuff for the kids alone. Now that you are going to be seperated that is for him to worry about. Bite your tounge. I do thnk he should call before coming to the house on a visit where he is not scheduled. I would not address it until it happens though. Tell him you won't drop by unannounced (and don't) and he should not either. I would tell your close friends and family you are seperated. Again, that comes with the territory. Don't make this easy for him. You don't have to make it hard, but see it for what it is. If you make it easy I assure you he will have his cake and eat it too. In my opinion you are in a position of power. He is saying he wants to work on it and as far as you know he does. He says he is not with OW and I say take it with a grain of salt, but accept it since you don't know otherwise. Use these things as tools to make it through this. You don't have to be sad or depressed at this time becuse again as far as you know he wants to work it out. Be strong now, DB now before this goes any further. Start out strong, stay strong, use this time to GAL. When he has the kids by all means enjoy your time. Avoid R talks as much as you can and by the end of 6 months hopefully your H will be home.
