Friday night my wife fell asleep on the couch in her clothes before the girls even went upstairs to bed. I took them upstairs, read them stories, and got them to sleep. When I came downstairs I was tempted to wake my wife up to see if she wanted to go get in bed, but I decided it would be nicer of me to let her sleep. I covered her with a blanket without waking her and went to bed early - before 10:30 (another exciting Friday night!). At some point during the night she came into the bedroom and got into bed, still in her jeans, without waking me. Before we awoke the next morning the girls had come downstairs and gotten into bed with us. She did thank me for covering her with the blanket later that morning.
Saturday we bought her a new vehicle - a very nice one. If all goes well we'll take delivery tomorrow - it has to be picked up from another dealership out of town. Both of us work and make nearly the same amount of money, so I can't say that I bought it for her - but I was the one to spend 2 or 3 hours up at the dealership by myself making the deal. Granted, she deserves it - she's been driving what used to be my old vehicle for over 5 years and hasn't complained. When I got back we went to dinner (with the girls), then after we got home she took them up to bed. As usual she fell asleep upstairs and didn't wake me when she came back downstairs in the middle of the night. Nothing happened this morning either.
Tonight I took the girls upstairs and had them to sleep by 9:30, but when I got back downstairs my wife was already asleep - so here I am. I'm not in a terribly miserable mood at the moment, but the lack of any real progress is starting to get to me a bit. I assume she's thinking "we're going to spend the weekend together in California and he's expecting something to happen while we're there, so considering that we just had sex Thursday morning I'm off the hook for a while". Of course, it's very possible that nothing may happen this weekend, but I'm trying to be very optimistic and keep from blowing up before then, which would pretty much ruin any possibility of anything happening. It's hard though - especially when much more than just sex I want my wife to crave me again like she used to - and like I still crave her. Don't get me wrong - I do want sex badly and would basically take any that I could get right now - but unpassionate sex, even if frequent, is not going to make me happy. When I've told my wife how much I miss kissing, and she still can't bring herself to kiss me even once (except for a goodbye "peck"), then I'm sure she doesn't crave me. And having sex without any kissing just convinces me more - it's like she can force herself to have unpassionate sex with me every couple of months, but kissing is just too intimate. I continue to feel completely undesirable and unwanted.
