The New Adventures of Supermom...Part 3

[JennyF]

I tried to post this on the "Advice from those in Piecing" thread...but got no replies.

So I'll try here and see if any passers-by can offer an input.

Right now, my H feels like a complete stranger. I mean, I barely recognize him and any connections we used to have seem to be gone gone gone. This is so weird when were together for 9 years and were eachothers best friend.
Anyway, because we have 2 very small children we see eachother often. We are at the beginning of custody discussions and so far it is not going well as we disagree entirely on what is best for the kids (I still think he's looking out for his own selfish needs and not first and foremost those of the kids)
So things are tense right now and I expect them to get worse. I have been and will continue to DB my butt off, but I will not be forced into making decisions regarding my kids that I don't agree with. No way.

So my question is two-fold.
1) Can this whole custody thing put a major dent in any chance of reconciliation? Did anyone else have this to deal with? Any advice on how to stand for what I believe in and protect my kids without doing damage to my DB efforts?

2) My H seems to be gone entirely. I don't recognize him. Our connection is gone too, I don't even think he recognizes me anymore. I am telling myself that this too is part of the process and that H is just in the darkest part of the tunnel. Hoepfully that means he's moving THROUGH it! Did any of the successful people feel at any point like it was really already gone? Is this just a sign of good detachment?

I completely realize that every person and sitch is different and I am not looking for any blanket statements to apply to my sitch and give me magic answers. I feel I am really at the point of having let go and would just like some feedback on how others felt at this stage.
Thank in advance to anyone of those 'piecers' who respond!
J~