I certainly understand what you're going through - your situation does have a lot of similarities to mine. I obviously can't offer much advice, but I'll keep an eye on your posts and pass along anything I find that might help.
Fred, thanks for your encouragement as always.
Here's a quick update on my situation. After making love to my wife yesterday morning for the first time in roughly 3 months, I'm still hoping to build on that little bit of success. Last night my wife again fell asleep upstairs and didn't get back downstairs until the middle of the night. This morning I woke up at 5:20 and tried to cuddle up to her, and as usual I got the reaction "Sooner (she actually used my real name however) - just let me sleep a little longer!" So I rolled back over and left her alone. About 5 minutes later her alarm went off and she got up and started getting ready for work without ever acknowleging me. If she only realized how much it would mean to me if she'd cuddle up to me a little or give me a kiss before getting out of bed. Maybe she does and just doesn't care.
This evening on the way home from work I stopped and got her some flowers along with a card that just said "I love you". I wanted to let her know that I appreciated her making an effort. She doesn't have to work on Fridays so I was hoping she might be open to "another round" tonight - I want so badly to get over the anxiety that results from only having sex every few weeks at best. But at the moment she's asleep upstairs, so tonight is probably out of the question. Maybe tomorrow - who knows.
It really bothers me feeling like there's something wrong with me for wanting to make love to my wife. If she had any idea how badly or how often I want her, I'd probably be in trouble all the time. She acts like she'd prefer it if I didn't find her the least bit appealing. I can't understand that because the greatest desire that I have is to be adored by her - to know that no matter what happens I can come home to someone who's madly in love with me and feels lucky to have me. But around my wife, I no longer feel attractive, sexy, smart, funny, confident, or the least bit desirable. I married her because I wanted a soul mate, but it feels like she only married me because she wanted a roommate.
