Living together as semi-polite strangers

[mishka422]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I have to regroup in a big way right now. I will not be mean or unkind to him in any way because that is only going to detrimental to whatever outcome we have. However, I am not going to be made a fool of anymore. He was aware of the conditions of moving back home and he accepted them and turned right around and lied to me. I told him I would not trust him until he earned it and he knew I meant it. I heard the lies in his voice when he told me where he was going and what he was doing. That was the reason I had to see for myself. I had to know that he was lying because I've given him the benefit of the doubt too much in the past.

I have to protect my son. If that means making sure that his lying father is not involved as much anymore then so be it. My H has not been what you would call a great father especially over the last year or so. He only barks, yells and orders him around. He doesn't do fun things with him, he doesn't spend any real time with him. My son hasn't wanted to spend much time with his dad in the last year because of this. It might be better for him in the long run if his dad did leave again. I know it would be better for me.

I talked to a L's assistant while I was at lunch today and made an appt for next Tuesday to discuss my options.

I'm definitely planning on not talking to him unless he speaks first and I have to find a way to get him out of my bedroom. I can't handle him being there but I will not move out of my room because of his actions. Any suggestions on how to gently but firmly suggest that he sleep on the couch or in my son's room (or in a sleeping bag on the floor)?

I don't want to be angry in front of him. I know that is not going help but I do need to be firm in what I need.