Ewe makes awesome points. I would not back down as it relates to your kids. I honestly believe that he did make a choice to be gone. You did not make that choice so as they say bend (just a wee bit), but don't break. My H tried to pull similar crap. He wanted to change the time arrangements with our son. He also started to bit-h about finances. I told him essentially the same thing you did. "You decided not to stay, you decided to not be a productive part of this marriage and you decided you wanted a D. I will not change the visiting arrangements and I am not sympathetic to your financial situation. You are the only one who had a choice in this. I was forced into accepting this situation." I stood my ground, was very unemotional when I said this and told him if these sorts of discussions were to continue it was best he get his lawyer because clearly it was too heated for the the both of us. I was not emotional, I did not yell scream or curse. That was a month ago and let me tell you we are still seperated but I have not heard the D word since. I mentioned the D word the other day just trying to see where his head was at and he told me that every disscussion did not have to end up with us talking about divorce and to stop all my overreacting. Now I am not sure that means he wants to stay as he is still gone, but it forced him to think about his behavior and the consequences of it.
