The tanning is a small issue compared to the other things (drinking, drunk driving...etc.). It's just one of the many things my H has done during all of this. I told my sister the other night that I know it would cause hell for us, but there have been times, even recently that I wish he'd get caught. However, I think that would probably push him over the edge instead of make him hit bottom and look for ways to improve. I'd told everyone that he drove my vehicle on Sat. night. Well, on Sunday morning when we went to breakfast, I asked him if he'd parked in front or back. His response was.....You think I remember.
Sue, I read this a few days ago but didn't respond. But it's weighed heavily on my mind ever since. My H is in deep trouble for drinking and driving. He was always drinking and driving. He would never listen to me when I warned him about getting caught. He would always say 'nothing's going to happen.' Famous last words! Well, he did get caught. There was an accident (not his fault) but since he'd been drinking, he's going to have to pay the penalty anyway. It's not something your H wants to experience. Drunk driving laws are TOUGH. It seems like they treat DWIs with as much force as they do felony crimes! And, if you hurt someone while drinking and driving, it is a felony crime. You're looking at incarceration. Not to mention, a loss of license, which could mean loss of job, etc.
It also happened to the H of a friend of mine. This guy is a lawyer. It was a summer day; he cut the grass; had about 3 beers then ran out do an errand. Same scenario -- he was in an accident, it was someone else's fault. But the cop smelled beer on his breath. End of story. He got 3 years probation. It doesn't matter who are or what you do in life, your economical or social status, etc. You are prosecuted.
Like I said, it's been on my mind just because I can't tell you how many times after my H's accident that I didn't kick my own ass for not speaking up louder or sooner. I must have wished a million times that I had done something! Not that it would have done any good. But I had the same thoughts as you before it happened to my H. I prayed that if it did happen, that he would not hurt or kill anyone else.
I know you're already going through a lot of crap with him right now and just is this one more thing. But I wanted to speak up because if I had it to do over again, I would do something, anything, to get my H's attention. Hind sight is 20/20. The only problem is I don't know what I would have done. So although I'm sharing my scenario with you, I don't know what to tell you to do! He's not going to want to listen to you. But if there is anything you can do to get his attention -- an intervention of some sort from someone he will listen to? A brother or sister? I just don't want anyone else to have to go through something like that...
