You need to figure out who you are and accept that. Then figure out who you want to be and strive to become that. After that, it doesn't matter so much what other people think about you or say about you...even a spouse
Well I'll be the voice of dissent here and say I would not be able to maintain a happy M in the face of my H saying things about me or doing things to me that I felt were invalidating. If my H started calling me names or insulting the way I look, or whatever, I don't think we would be able to maintain any type of intimacy or passion. Why would I want to have sex with a person who was just plain mean? Him too? So until you resolve the whole issue of maintaining HONOR (which we talked about yesterday) I don't think your R can survive. As we have seen on these boards all too often. It's not about holding onto yourself as much as being willing to let another person in.
