I don't know if your xH was so much puppy as he was out of control monkey... or perhaps a combination of the two. I'm thinking that your confidence/self-sufficiency intimidated him in some way... yet when you showed vulnerability, he got angry, because it pretty much showed a bright beacon on his own piss poor behavior. Kind of a love/hate thing he must have had for you... I wonder if that ever went on with his own mother...
Sounds to me like your xH has some security issues of his own; as LFL pointed out, there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to go about addressing that.
In any event, it ISN'T something you can fix, and not only that, it could be extremely damaging/risky to you to hang around while he gets it figured out. Not every marriage is fixable, nor should every marriage be saved. Everyone always empathizes with the one left behind; few realize the enormous pain it can cause the person who walks away.
In any event, I'm glad you've met someone like Raven, with whom you sound very happy.
