huh....that stumps me. As someone who can relate to your H in terms of often seeking validation from other people, I do not think I would be in that state if I was receiving this validation from H. I am now, so we are on a good path. My H seeks validation from me as well. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. In fact, I think it is necessary for the passion to stay strong. So I dunno. Maybe like you said, your H was just really dysfunctional. But then why would you be attracted to him? It doesn't make sense. hmmm
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?? No when I was vulnerable - crying, etc. - he was angry with me and would yell and walk away from me.
Well, I didn't mean crying, just heartfelt honesty. That what he was doing was painful to you because you loved him so much and really want to be each others "go to" person for that stuff. Stated better , but you get the point...
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You both needed to just get in tune with yourselves and each other a bit more. Sure you'll have ups and downs but I think both of you finally are SEEING the other in the best light and that alone should do wonders for your relationship!!
Thanks. I think you are right. We are both doing as much work on ourselves individually as we are as a couple. That's a huge change and probably the key to making it work.
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That's why I wonder if Karen's H is so different. I wonder if he doesn't have some somewhat severe dysfunction - homosexuality (which is a dysfunction in a hetero relationship!!), etc. I believe her when she states all she has tried especially because her context is not that she tried everything and is leaving. She feels she's tried everything and yet she intends to stay. So in the end she still won't give up which I admire!!
I don't know what is going on with her H. All I know for sure is that staying in the M as is will not be healthy for her. I hope she can find a way out of their dysfunction.
