I'm sorry to see that your wife wasn't seriously interested in making it work.
I think you did the right thing. The DB process is mainly about working on making the most of yourself, and that's what you have done. At a certain point, like you discovered and many don't understand in the beginning, you have to actually try to find out if your spouse is even capable of supporting your growth. You could lower yourself to her level and maybe even make it work for awhile, but you can't continue to grow as a person and expect her to add anything to your life. She's an impediment to making the most of your life. It sucks when you have feelings for someone, but she's like the cigarettes, you have to give her up (and them) because neither one of them actually makes life better...they are just something you crave. I don't believe that it's necessarily over forever, your wife could surprise you by actually working on her issues, but how long can you put your life on hold waiting for something that isn't likely to happen. She might make an effort for awhile and then just fall back into her learned pattern of behavior.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
