I got an email from her a little while ago. her H got held up a bit on a stop over and his luggage got delayed overnight but he is home and they are having a great time. All worries gone and Red happy and relaxed with her H and kids.
Now IC, about that video........
Saffie
GREAT!!!!!
Saffie, I thought I had some pretty good footage going on the video...things were getting pretty steamy so I thought I would clean the fog off the lens and wouldn't ya know it...typical male, I forgot to take the damn lens cover off {I got some nice polaroids though }
PS. I understand where you're coming from on clearing the history...
Just a quick note for DBers in general.
This clears all websites, cookies, etc. from your computer.
I had to find it after my MLC STBXW snooped through my computer.
It's not hiding things if we erase content and links from our support group, after all, how many of us would tape our convos with out IC's and let our spouses hear them?
Anyway, it's free, and it works (I think....) pretty well so far.....
Hey, guys! Back @ work finally. I can't believe that H has already been home for 2 weeks and I'm just not allowing myself to think about the fact that that means he will be leaving again in 2 weeks.
Anyway, all is well. We had our B&B weekend this past weekend and had a really good time together. Mom & dad have offered to watch the boys tonight so we're just going to go to dinner & a movie. No out late partying or anything
Thanks for everyone's well wishes. We really are on our way back to a much better place.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Well, I'm still learning and/or making sure I put in the *effort* I need to in our M and specifically our SL.
Example: last night, I was exhausted. H wanted to have S and I could barely keep my eyes open so it didn't happen. I was worried this a.m. that he was going to think that things were going to start going back to the "old days." So, instead of worrying about what he was thinking or even talking to him about it, I just took a quick shower this a.m. and hopped back in bed w/ him.
I've gone back to my LD'edness quite a bit. I think the drama of the whole D sitch had my juices flowing and now that's not happening anymore. However, I have figured out that the reason I feel this way and felt this way for so long before is that our SL has kind of gone back to the way it was before. Very "vanilla" as LFL would call it and I'm not having an O hardly at all. It's kind of like he gets what he needs and that's it. I know that this is partially my fault and I need to *do* things so that that is not happening, however, I don't know if it's my AD or what, but I'm just not "into" it as much. I'm just making sure that I'm doing it "for him" and also to keep the intimacy in our M alive. Also, we're in a different sitch as he is leaving Saturday, so I don't want to get into any "talks" or anything. Hopefully when he gets back, I can get things going for both of us again.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I'm just making sure that I'm doing it "for him" and also to keep the intimacy in our M alive. Also, we're in a different sitch as he is leaving Saturday
Hi Red
You need to find a happy balance here. There is nothing wrong with doing it "for him" once in a while but certainly not the majority of the time. That is not building intimacy. It can quickly turn into duty sex and no man or woman wants that. I'm sure you are stressed over him leaving again so that probably has a lot to do with it. Who could blame you. When he gets back, you can devote your full attention to the two of you and the M. It may just be a strange time right now. Hope things get better for you soon.
Hi RHW, Glad to see that you have resurfaced! I agree with LFL that ultimately you want to achieve a balance, but it's hard to do in your situation because of all the schedule upheavals. I have also gotten back to being LD, and I know I have to work harder to get myself in that sex-ready zone, and I do recognize it's my responsibility ( and joy) to keep things vamped up here and there. Yet, it is okay, and healthy, to relax a bit too, and it all gets easier as the element of trust builds. Your H will see that your heart is in the right place, so if you need to bail, it is really not a big deal. In fact, my H feels comfortable bailing from time to time too. There is so much more to marriage than behaving like sex machines, as long as you keep the machinery flowing regularly and make the effort. BTW, I do miss those HD feelings, but those came in the context of a very unstable relationship, and I wouldn't go back there for anything.
Enjoy the next few days...I agree with you, keep it light.
It is stressful -- part of me is so sad he is going back, part of me just wants to get it over w/. I know when he gets back, it is going to be a whole different ball game. It won't be temporary anymore and things will be different. I also want our SL to be enjoyable for me too, so I know when he gets back I will figure out how to change some things around so that it is. I still have that "peace between the sheets" book that I haven't even had time to look at. I know this isn't all for me to "fix" or "work on," however, right now is not the time to be even thinking about discussing it w/ him. Hopefully, there won't even be anything to discuss -- I'll just be able to 'get back into it' myself and all will be well. It's kind of that old if I change some things around -- try to spice things up a bit -- he will follow suit.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
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I should have made sure I was the one with the video - shucks. I was too busy peeking 