I can hear how proud you are and how much you love your kids. I am so sorry you miss them. That part is soooo not fair to us. We didn't ask for this, we didn't ask for less time with our kids. You are making the most of your time with them, that's all you can do.
You are doing the right thing by taking control of the finances. W will be mad/defensive at first, but she needs to accept it. Such is life. My H's OW actually thought her H would move out, but she would still have access to his money...
