By the way, emotional affairs are real affairs. They almost always slip in into physical intimacy. Even if they don't, they erode your marriage and sap your wife's desire to be with you.
The only way it's ever over is if there's no contact.
Be prepared for several things:
1. You wife will downplay the emotional affair. 2. She may deny or lie about a physical affair.
What's your strategy? The same if it's emotional or physical.
So....
1. Decide if you want to confront now or later. In my opinion, there's no use pretending it isn't happening.
2. If she admits it's happening. Tell her your love her and want to restore passion in your relationship and you want to re-discover each other. (Sounds better than saying, "I want to work on the marriage). Ask her to end the affair. Don't beg her, don't give ulimatums. Be calm. Ask for what you want. Be prepared for her to say "no". Be preprared for her to say, "I want a divorce." If she's deep in a romance with the other guy, she's in la-la land. The important thing is not to panic. Fear and shock are your greatest enemies.
3. Don't pressure her, beg, her, argue with her, try to convince her to dtay in the marriage. Give her space.
4. Don't force conversations about the relationship if it seems clear she wants out. If she's open to discussing things, do so.
5. Get a life. This is your wake up call. Excercize, take up new hobbies, re-focus on your career. You can't change her, you can only change yourself, and perhaps, that'll attract her back. This is the most important thing you can do.
6. Be a little mysterious. Don't do the same old same old. Get her curious about you.
7. Don't make rash decisions. Whatever you do, don't move out.
