Thank you so much. Your post is really helpful and I appreciate that you went to the trouble to rewrite it after losing everything you'd initially written. That's happened to me before also - it's so aggravating.
It's a little discouraging to know that taking the pressure off of you sexually didn't really help and that your husband had to withdraw emotionally as well for you to miss him. Right now I don't feel like my wife misses being close to me although it's hard to say what's really going on in her mind. I hope that my marriage is not a situation that will have to get worse before it can get better, but I suppose that's possible.
I think that my wife has a lot to think about right now after reading my letter and becoming aware of these posts. I'm planning to leave her alone for a while to let her sort everything out in her own mind. While I'm so happy to see some of the people on this message board making excellent progress in resolving the lack of intimacy in their marriages, I've got to admit that it hurts to know that others have made so much progress within only a month while my situation hasn't changed. I see low desire spouses in marriages that have been sex-starved even longer than mine suddenly initiating sex frequently, planning weekend trips together, and basically reconnecting within a matter of days. And they're both suddenly happy and madly in love again. Yet my wife acts like we have to go through months of continuing to live as roommates before we could possibly get to that point. That's discouraging! If that had been the case when we started dating, it would have taken years to get to our first kiss. Now that I've committed my life to someone with whom I'm madly in love, in her mind we're not close enough to make out, much less make love. If the things that have happened recently to make her more aware of what I'm going through don't have much of an effect, I'm worried that nothing ever will. Guess I should be more optimistic, but it's hard sometimes.
I appreciate your support Jen. Please keep me in mind if you happen to think of anything else that might help.
