Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #11

[Punktmann]

Imageer, I keep reading that the A doesn't last, and can't survive the light of day. (I know that there are exceptions, but...)

In this case,

I think the reason that W tries hard to hide it is that she doesn't believe it is right herself or she is embarrased of her own choices.

I think that is positive, b/c it doesn't sound like that can survive. Waiting just stinks though.

[Imageer]

I think the reason that W tries hard to hide it is that she doesn't believe it is right herself or she is embarrased of her own choices.

This is ofcourse speculation. I do see though how As don't last though. I think in my case (mmf too) that this is twice as true due to the fact that our Ws are carrying on homosexual As. As much as the popular media would have you believe that it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, I thing the public at large really frowns on it and this is just another thing that W has going against her. I can't imagine W carrying on this R in front of her mother, sister, cousins etc.

[missmyfriend]

I think that is why I have been very discreet regarding my Ws actions. I am not going to make it more challenging since she has kept it pretty quiet. Unfortunately, she knows my mother knows about it. She asked me directly and I couldnt lie to her. I am sorry she knows although she knows that my mom still loves her.

[Imageer]

A couple of odd things happened over the weekend. On Friday W started asking questions about the bad financial events of the past. I noticed that she remember much of it wrong, so I corrected her. After that she stopped talking about it. I'm guessing that her motivation is this was trying to find a source of money but there was none.

Then on Sunday when I picked up the kids there was something different about her. I've been trying to figure out what it was but I can't. The thing that stands out most about it was that in the 5 minutes that I saw her for, I made her laugh twice. It was how I use to be able to make her laugh and she laughed like her old self. It was nice to see.

I'm finding myself getting increasingly nervous as the 1 year mark approaches on Jan. 28th. In Canada You cannot file for D until you have been S for 1 year. So, in a couple of weeks W will be able to file if she wants. I tell myself that it has no bearing on the big picture, it's just a piece of paper but I'm still nervous. I really have no idea what she will do.

[Punktmann]

Imageer.

I made her laugh twice. It was how I use to be able to make her laugh and she laughed like her old self. It was nice to see.


That's great, I'm glad. My W is so beautiful when she laughs.


I tell myself that it has no bearing on the big picture, it's just a piece of paper but I'm still nervous. I really have no idea what she will do.

We just took a step forward today in our D, I got some butterflies too.

Do you think she remembers the date or the requirement?

I agree about the piece of paper. It is just that. If we had never married but still started this family, we would be right here in the exact same place. (well maybe a little different financially, but still right here.)

Hang tough.

[Imageer]

I think I learned something today with regards to MLC and my W. I had read somewhere that yout should question any of their action because they will find it controlling. Well after my earlier post I got several emails from W today. They were all very friendly and started with "Good Morning" or "Hello Again" where as she usually just starts with "Hi" There was even some comical stuff in them. It was nice.

Then in the afternoon, W sends an email saying that she was sending milk to school with the kids So I replied "Wouldn't it get warm and gross by lunch?" I never got a reply. Then about 5 house later I got another email that started with "Hi" and then proceeded to bitch at me because I hadn't told that kids that she called them.

Maybe this has all been her version of peaking out of the tunnel. I don't know but at the moment she seems to have gone back in.

Do you think she remembers the date or the requirement?

I really don't know. Normal W would absolutley remember but who knows about MLC W.

If D happens or not, I have had a plan for probably more than 6 months now to remarry her on a cruise when all of this is behind us. Lets hope for not though.

Punk, one step closer doesn't mean you are at the finish line yet. Your W cycles to much that who knows that will happen between now and them. I also think that there is a whole lot of reality headed her way.

[Punktmann]

Imageer, I think you have expressed what I have just been getting in touch with.

I had read somewhere that yout should question any of their action because they will find it controlling.

A comment from me that indicates the slightest deviation from complete agreement results in petulant behavior.

Tonight is a perfect example. (the spare bedroom that I relegated myself to, DOH, is the COLDEST room in the house, by about 15 degrees!) A light convo about how cold and windy it is here turned to my mentioning that I was cold even though I had the space heater in there and turned all the way up. She mentioned that she thought that I would be warmer ir I left the doors open to the spare room, and I said that I had found that with the doors closed it seemed warmer. She walked out of the room in a huff, and said over her shoulder, "I MUST be wrong then." WTF, if you want to try it out, then you sleep down here, and I'll go back to my normal warm bed you stinker.

Anyway, I think you are absolutley right about that.

Since I got off the eggshells, this has gotten much worse with her. I don't antagonize, but I also speak my mind now instead of tailoring things to her.

It feels pretty good.



I really don't know. Normal W would absolutley remember but who knows about MLC W.

I guess that is what I was thinking when I asked, I was hoping that the MLC fog would obscure that for a while longer. Time is on our side here.


Punk, one step closer doesn't mean you are at the finish line yet.

You're right buddy. I had the butterflies for a while, "and on the absolute wrong day at work too!" but this is just a step.


I also think that there is a whole lot of reality headed her way.

I know this, but watching an impending crash of any sort makes one nervous.

I think that the financial reality of this is starting to set in a bit.

I suppose that for us family men, what we are praying for is that the family reality of this sets in.

Sad to say, but without the kids in the picture, as much as I still love her, I think I might just say "enough."



Just curious, what is the weather like up there? It is absolutley FRIGID here, (like inside the house, ) and the wind is terrible. I took the kids outside on Sun, but we had to come back in after about 15 min.

[Imageer]

The weather here is pretty good right now. It was actually warm last week. Most of the snow is gone now. It was really windy the other day. The winds got up to 108 kmh. Fortuately, it was farely warm. Winters in the Toronto area are not bad. we get snow and it is cold but it actually isn't as bad as an area like Buffalo.

I think the financial reality is really starting to hit my W. It seems that every couple of days she is eluding to her not having any money. I'm sometimes starting to think that she is missing the kids more too. Also, the party must be slowing down. No Money, No Car. Doesn't make much of a party. Also, to me, she must miss some aspects of our life. for example she always hated cooking and we'd go out to eat or order in about 5 times a week. Now she has to cook every night and I asked the kids the other day if she took them to dinner and they said never.

When I talked to W today she said that she got food poisoning on Christmas day and was "very very sick" to use her words. I wonder if there was a psychological component to that because she was not with the family.

In all, she may still be in MLC, but I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't enjoying herself anymore.

Regarding walking on eggshells, I wouldn't say that I do but I would say that I have learned to shut up and not say much rather than speaking my mind and causing a fuss. I very much take a hands off approach. She has to burn herself out and nothing I do will speed that up so I leave her be. (Except when it comes to milk apperantly )

[Punktmann]

Oops, reread my post, I didn't actually say "WTF, if you want to try it out, then you sleep down here, and I'll go back to my normal warm bed you stinker." That was my comment on her getting angry. I'm not quite that bad.

[missmyfriend]

Imageer, hows it going? I want to thank you for checking in on me. It feels like forever since I was reading posts.

I loved the e-book. It has a lot of good stuff in it although there were only a couple of things I didnt agree with. For the most part, the insight was fantastic.

I have to say no matter what happens in our marriages, it is not over unless we want it to be. What I mean is we cannot control them but we can say when we say it is over. Our spouses are hurting (I always suspected mine was but just recently received confirmation without my seeking it out). My W will continue until she realizes what is truly important. I expect the same for your W.

Call me anytime buddy.