hmm.. my posting to karen and sandi about how they need to "yell and scream at their husbands to tell them how miserable they are feeling", makes me take a little pause to reflect on my own marital issues.

there are some similarities, i think. I didnt realize how important somethings were to my wife in the distant past, because she didnt get to the "yell and scream" stage. If I realized how important it was to her, i would have changed my ways sooner.
That's why I'm recommending that to karen and sandi.
(very very rarely, she used to. and that DID get my attention and get me to adjust)


In the more recent past of our living together, however (last 2 years?)... she did occasionally get worked up, but didnt get what she wanted... So I guess she would think that "yelling and screaming" isnt effective on getting my attention.

Thing is though.. it was no longer about "make me happy: make our marriage better".
It was variants of, "make me happy: Stop getting in the way of me spending all my time with OM!!!"


If she was ranting and complaing about "lets do more things together", or something that actually helped our marriage, rather than separate us further... she probably would have been amazed at how responsive I would have been.
Instead, i was the one saying "lets go out more.. lets do more things together" and getting rejected.

sigh...



Last edited by Dom R; 01/10/08 03:57 AM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle