OK, things were a little tough there. The house I work in (private residence) is pretty dark - as in, poor lighting arrangements compared to the geometry of the room. Sufficent light to see by, but lots of shadows. So some of the evening was kinda gray/dark and dismal.
I'm at the library with the kid now, though, well-lit and feeling in a better place even though I've only been here 5 minutes.
I'm trying to keep my walls up for myself today - but here and there the "my wife's looking to date other men" slaps me in the face. I put up the "Stop Sign" for those thoughts, but damn it stings. I'm processing that hurt as best I can. It almost feels like I found out about a new physical affair. But seeing as I can't control her actions, I'm trying to keep it off my mind. I can only think that this will end poorly for her.
I feel more content in my position of wanting to be able to heal from the ruins of this marriage before going onto anything else; also, having the "moral high ground" feels good.
A co-worker was absolutely awesome to me today. I mentioned in conversation it was my birthday (not looking for a "happy birthday" but explaining that I'd come in early so I could leave early and relax at the end of the day), and she bought me take-out from a local place and got me this neat punching-bag thing (she knows my sitch, and had been separated from her husband for a year awhile back, so empathized). One of those inflatable ones like you see for kids. I got a laugh out of it, and was really touched at the same time. She'd insisted on doing something for me - over my protests - and it was really nice.
