Engagement

[Burgbud]

(SM) She told me that she didn't know where to start. I might just work with her to get the ball rolling and tell her to pick one out that she thinks she can work with.

You mentioned in another post that she needs to take co-ownership of the problems in your M so in that vein, here's an additional suggestion.

Tell her you're not sure where to start either. Tell her the two of you need to determine what the purpose of your counseling should be. I don't think it's terribly effective to walk into a counselor's office and ask them to save your M. So ask your W to sit down with you and come up with an idea of what issues in your M you'd like a counselor to help with first. Is it communication, is it intimacy, is it fusion, etc. What you actually come up with is probably less important than that the two of you come up with *something*. Don't let her off the hook for helping you come up with something.

After you two decide, tell her you'll pick out a counselor and she'll pick out a counselor, you'll go to both then pick the one you like best or go to both if they both seem useful.

Working together to get the ball rolling seems helpful. You taking the lead on coming up with a plan and keeping her involved seems helpful. You doing the follow up on her suggestions seems potentially unhelpful.