One thing I don't understand and I wondered if you could clear up for me - why should your W 'save' you? I really don't understand. In order to save my M, I had to save me and it is a continual job. I struggle with it every day. I am lucky in that my H is a strong person and will help me when I will let him in near enough to do that, but at the end of the day it HAS to be me. I drove my H to have his A by my behaviour; I attracted him back by the changes I made; (I didn't know about his A until he told me, when I was on MY journey to help ME).
You sound such a giving, articulate, guy who gets a real big 'kick'/ 'buzz'/'drive' from helping others which is great but you have gone and run out of juice. You ran out of juice and then kept running on empty. You need to see to you and THEN your W might be able to relax and stop checking out her options IF when you have saved yourself YOU still want to be with her. If you choose to live your life with a partner that needs to be 'protected' then you have got to be strong enough to give that protection, which means you have got to be strong; not pretend to be but actually be that strong person. Your postings on this thread, (which is all I have read of your sitch), imply that you faked what you did in the past to attract your W back. That it wasn't a natural, comfortable way of being and so you have been sinking. That could just be the way it reads rather than the actual position.
As an aside really, if you are having financial difficulties, how is your W paying for all these flights?
Frank, what do you want?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
