Thank you for your thoughtfull post. There was very much something missing from our R over the last few years. In our case there was a number of issues that dated back to prior to W's 1st A. At the moment its way better for both of us that we are separated but generaly supportive than if we were living together. I see it being that way for the forseeable future .
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Have you really thought this through at this level? If not, spend your time on asking some hard questions along these lines. If so, love to hear your conclusions!