H will not stop emailing the OW in front of me, says he can email who he wants (although he knows it is painful for me), and he emails her each evening. Since he refuses to stop the behavior when I am there, should I then just walk out of the room without comment at that point or what do you recommend?
Right now your husband is being cruel, mean, selfish and a complete a$$hole. I suggest you ask him one more time.
Simply say, "I understand you feel you need to be in this relationship with OW right now. I'm not going to try to stop you. You are free to do as you wish. However, I would appreciate the courtesy, that you, simply as a gentleman, agree not to email her or call her in front of me. That not too much to ask, is it?"
The language in the above statement is key. Ask it exactly as I wrote it. The last phrase is a tie on, "Is it?" It's a sales technique that moves the listener foward to agreement. And...after you ask it, go silent. I mean SILENT. The first person who talks loses. Another sales technique.
You are in a war. Fight to win.
He may, however, refuse.
Is the email on a PC or a lap-top?
You can ask him to buy himself a lap-top, and be in another room when he does it.
If he's on the phone with her, you can ask him to go to another room.
If he flat out refuses...I'm not too sure. You can leave the room, or, perhaps, just stare him down. I don't think he would want you listening in on his love talk or looking at his emails. It's your house, too. If he won't leave the room, then, I think he shouldn't mind if you look over his shoulder when he emails or stay there and let him feel uncomfortable. Heck if he talks to her, I suggest you say hello to her in a loud voice.
You are not invisible. Divorce-busting doesn't mean you are a doormat.
Here's an idea....You might say to him, "Well, I see that you feel it's OK for you to email who you want to in front of me, including love notes to your girlfriend. Well, I suppose I can give your best friend a bl*w j*b in front of you, but I don't think you'd appreciate that, would you?"
Go silent...Then walk away.
There's wisdom and there's boundaries. It's one thing to have an affair, it's another thing to flaunt it in someone's face. I think he's trying to get you to file for divorce. Nasty bugger.
