Does a man know how to have a baby? Does he have the capability?
As a woman, I may not know 'how' to have a baby... but I don't have to know how to have one in order to 'do' it... and there is something coded into me that will figure it out. That is the biology I am talking about.
Yes, your body will figure it out. If you're lucky and are fertile and it all goes easily. If not, you'd be surprised how much you need to "know" (never mind pay) in order to have a child. But how you had that child isn't really the basis of your connection. It's because it's yours, and it needs you.
Does this extend to all your (and by extension, any woman's) undeveloped ovum? If so, then what you guys are saying makes sense. Or could at least serve as a useful model.
IMO, this is why dating is confusing for those of us who have no intention of fully developing any more ovum. The dance seems more like ritual than reality unless there is some kind of "baby". I think when older women complain that older guys are just looking for a "nurse or a purse" what they are saying is "Spend my golden years babying an old man. Highly unlikely. Where did I put my purple dress and my red hat? I'm going to kick *ss at bridge club tonight."
Quote:
A good commander can lead poor troops but he'd prefer to lead good troops. He might occasionally wonder why good troops seem so few and far between.
Of course that's pretty puppy of him, so he might oughta stop.
LOL- Of course a monkey-girl like me might argue that a little bit of mutiny now and then just demonstrates the presence of the spirit necessary for a little bit of sumthin' sumthin' else every now and then. If I don't cause a man to at least roll his eyes upward to Jesus for assistance on a semi-regular basis then I am not really doing my part in the relationship.
Speaking of the old eye-rolling devil. I feel another GP anecdote would be appropriate at this juncture. I was talking to him about whether he thought the male/female dichotomy could be maintained in a relationship in which the man was the househusband and the woman earned most of the money. He said "Yes." and explained by saying "I will be the man so if a woman and I came to an agreement that I would be the house husband, we wouldn't reach that agreement unless it had been clearly established that I would be clearly maintaining my role as the man in that situation. If she started to behave as though this wasn't the case, the agreement would be null and void."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Well, a woman is a fool if she marries a man with no paternal instinct...even if she gets turned-off when suggestions that she might need to wear long underwear manifest from excessive St.Bernardism. One of the events that rung the death-knell of my marriage was when I was in a relatively relaxed mode with my 2bx and he took that as an opportunity to bring up the concept of quitting his job in the not too distant future. I said something about paying for our D's college and he said something like "Oh, she'll be alright. She always lands on her feet." What a PAL.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
"I will be the man so if a woman and I came to an agreement that I would be the house husband, we wouldn't reach that agreement unless it had been clearly established that I would be clearly maintaining my role as the man in that situation. If she started to behave as though this wasn't the case, the agreement would be null and void."
Well, probably not the best way to go. Those M often have the highest rates of D. Probably a lot of gender role confusion, even more than normal. It's hard to break free of both the biological and societal differences between men and women in those cases. I don't think I'd like that set-up myself. But my father was always a good provider if not mr emotional. So I think I ingrained those strong parts of him as a role model for my future mate.
Yes, your body will figure it out. If you're lucky and are fertile and it all goes easily. If not, you'd be surprised how much you need to "know" (never mind pay) in order to have a child. But how you had that child isn't really the basis of your connection. It's because it's yours, and it needs you.
No offense, but you keep dragging society into this. This is a biology discussion... or at least, it's how it started out. I didn't say there were not difficulties with childbearing, that you could potentially die... all kinds of things could go wrong an do.
FEMALES are designed and built to have babies, whether we intellectually 'know how' to do it or not. We are built to produce milk. All kinds of physical things go on with us during pregnancy/child birth/rearing. Based on instinct, we figure it out.
No body teaches animals how to have their young.
Men are not equipped/built to have children. Their bodies do not produce milk. If a female animal dies in the birthing process, it is likely the offspring will as well, for the male cannot care for the young by himself. Biology.
K? I'm not talking about who has the capacity to love a child more, if I have the money to pay for in vetro... animals in the wild do not do this.
FEMALES are designed and built to have babies, whether we intellectually 'know how' to do it or not. We are built to produce milk. All kinds of physical things go on with us during pregnancy/child birth/rearing. Based on instinct, we figure it out.
How come no one told my body about this?! Actually lots of women used to die in childbirth because biology wasn't very helpful sometimes. My son wouldn't come out after 16 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. Not even with that dammm vacuum extractor thingy. My poor H. He literally thought I was dead. All he saw was a big gush of blood come out of me....and no baby. 2 c-sections later, I've got my two beauties. .....come to think of it...maybe that's why he didn't want to have sex. Lol. PTSD. Nah, those problems started way before the honeymoon. ...probably didn't help though....grumble grumble
Does this extend to all your (and by extension, any woman's) undeveloped ovum? If so, then what you guys are saying makes sense. Or could at least serve as a useful model.
Quote:
IMO, this is why dating is confusing for those of us who have no intention of fully developing any more ovum. The dance seems more like ritual than reality unless there is some kind of "baby".
Mo has a valid point, and I believe Blackfoot discussed this on some thread not too long ago. Can't remember which one, but I do remember getting all indignant about it (imagine that).
But... I've been giving it a lot of very serious thought since then... I've always had the notion that women are inherently dishonest... but again, not from malicious intent, or dishonorable intent... (which is a tone/assumption I seem to be picking up from Blackfoot/Stig/some other male posters here... correctly or incorrectly, I don't know).... then we started talking puppies, which got me to thinking about offspring (and I figured out that's not what Mojo actually meant by 'puppy'), but it still spurred the thoughts... boom. Grand Theory.
How come no one told my body about this?! ;\) Actually lots of women used to die in childbirth because biology wasn't very helpful sometimes. My son wouldn't come out after 16 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. Not even with that dammm vacuum extractor thingy. My poor H. He literally thought I was dead. All he saw was a big gush of blood come out of me....and no baby. 2 c-sections later, I've got my two beauties. .....come to think of it...maybe that's why he didn't want to have sex. Lol. PTSD. Nah, those problems started way before the honeymoon. ...probably didn't help though....grumble grumble
It could be that you may have been a female who would have died in childbirth... but your body still did what it was designed to do... your body was preparing your breasts for milk... you have your babies now because of 'society' and how we've evolved.
That doesn't change the original point, though. Do you see that?
This is a biology discussion... FEMALES are designed and built to have babies, whether we intellectually 'know how' to do it or not. We are built to produce milk. All kinds of physical things go on with us during pregnancy/child birth/rearing.
As a biology discussion I can agree on differences between men and women. But you took it beyond biology by postulating that the maternal instinct will then make a woman less honorable and more dishonest than men due to that instinct.
What I am unsure about in your theory is whether the maternal instinct really makes a woman less honorable and trustworthy. Obviously plenty of men are not honorable or trustworthy either. Why is that then?
Even with Raven's kids (D9 and S5) I find myself wanting to be MORE honorable to give them guidance in both how to be a woman AND what to expect from a woman. I want to guide them into being strong healthy adults. Is this the maternal instinct??
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
No offense, but you keep dragging society into this. This is a biology discussion... or at least, it's how it started out. I didn't say there were not difficulties with childbearing, that you could potentially die... all kinds of things could go wrong an do.
FEMALES are designed and built to have babies, whether we intellectually 'know how' to do it or not. We are built to produce milk. All kinds of physical things go on with us during pregnancy/child birth/rearing. Based on instinct, we figure it out.
No body teaches animals how to have their young.
Men are not equipped/built to have children. Their bodies do not produce milk. If a female animal dies in the birthing process, it is likely the offspring will as well, for the male cannot care for the young by himself. Biology.
K? I'm not talking about who has the capacity to love a child more, if I have the money to pay for in vetro... animals in the wild do not do this.
No, I'm not disagreeing that females are designed to have children. I'm disagreeing that the fact that we carry and birth them gives us a different concept of love, or connection, or, loyalty, or honor. As for the instinct, that'll only take you so far in higher primates. A girl who knew nothing about babies, left alone on an island might kill herself, or the kid, giving birth, or at any time later on. She might just not know what to do. Our brains sacrificed much of 'instinct' for those frontal lobes.
