You didn't trust him so you asked him for assurances. Let's say your H was a wife child abusing alcoholic. Would you have needed assurances from SoldierBoy then? You demonstrated to SoldierBoy that you trusted your H more than him. Which was emotionally honest of you because you did.
I don't know if I'd say that necessarily. Trust/loyalty, those are things that need to be earned. Plus, I don't know if H and I will ever truly embrace those concepts. I don't think it is necessary for a good, happy M. It is necessary to be honorable to each other, but not necessarily trust each other. Very different. If we are good to each other, the M and loyalty takes care of itself. I will honor him by having him my physical and emotional "go to" person. He will do the same. And to bring up the example of a child abusing alcoholic is just silly to me. I would not be with such a person Ever. I honor myself too much for that insanity. And even more, I honor myself too much now to even think that soldier guy was worthy of me. Clearly I had a screw loose for a while.
