Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[newnamenewlife]

Yes, RCR, I hear what you are saying. All points well-taken. BUT please help me with something: H & I still live together and we have two kids to whom he is devoted. Therefore, we have exchanges every day--by phone or email--simply talking about when he's coming home, what we're doing on the weekends, etc. He is good about being responsible in that way, mostly.

But I need to set SOME boundaries. For example, today H's mom (who knows nothing about what's going on with us) emailed both of us to see if she could sit for the kids this weekend so we could go out. I said that would be great, and suggested to H that we go see a movie or have dinner on Sat night (this isn't so unusual for us to do, even now.)

Somehow he managed to reply without replying--which he has gotten brilliant at and it is totally passive agressive. I'm sorry, but his mom needs to know if she's babysitting and I would like him to say yes or no to the movie/dinner idea.

What is likely to happen (given his recent behavior) is that I will follow up and ask him if he got the email or why he didn't respond. He will be lame and say he forgot--or something completely untrue.

So there's not pressuring--I agree with that. I would not have suggested a movie/dinner if his mom had not offered. She thinks that of course we want a night out. He probably hates the idea since being with me reminds him of what a jerk he's become. I think he hates himself most of all.

Anyway, the bottom line is that Sat night needs to be addressed. Are we going out or not? His mom needs to know and so do I. I don't want to pressure him so now I just have to wait until he gets the nerve to respond.