That's one of those cases of "lesson learned" kiddo.
See, from what you wrote, he didn't disrepect you by doing something that will bring up your trust issues. He texted you to tell you he was staying at hotel/friend's house.
You made the call.
I can't imagine how hard it would be not to. But. You are blaming him for the wrong things if you take what he says at face value. If he, in fact, turned off his phone and crashed, he had notified you and had no reason to think he'd raised any trust issues. Those are yours. In your head. You may be justified. It doesn't matter. If you think he lied to you, that's another issue. What matters is you called him. He didn't answer and you assumed he was ignoring you (or with her). He knows all this because when you did get hold of him you blamed him for the scenario in your head.
You can't control what he's doing. He is going to resent it if he is expected to reassure you that he is alone at his apartment every night after he moves also. Plus. He can't. You have to decide to trust or not.
My H broke it off with the OW. He moved to what is now our home. Sadly, due to my snooping, I have very good reason to suspect that he went back to see her one night before coming home (kids and I lived across country) and re-committing to me. I had to ask myself if I could live with that and then stick with my answer. It hurts. It feels like you just can't take anymore. And maybe you can't. Your decision. But you need to figure that out.
Don't worry about dealing with pent up frustration later because you have to keep your doubts inside (or post them here!) right now. If you can just take the text at face value and not make that call--- then the reasons you lost trust didn't exist. Maybe he turned his phone off so SHE couldn't call. Maybe it was as simple as his explanation. Thing is. No way to know and you can't put yourself through this while he finishes out that bowling league!
It is something that takes time, so don't beat yourself up over it (I was a HORRIBLE detacher), but yeah, you have to detach more for your own sanity. You must act "as if"-- fake it 'til ya make it-- and all that. There will be plenty of time to deal with trust issues later. You have to work on what you will do if he doesn't want you back.
