I completely understand that men want and need to take care of women. My biggest question is why so many men seem to look to women who have foolishly and repeatedly gotten themselves into trouble versus women who have had a "bad break."
Because they need to be needed but aren't strong enough to render a strong woman vulnerable or something like that -lol. My point is that if a strong woman is able to render herself vulnerable then she will lend a man strength. My bunny is more evident than my lioness at the moment which is an unusual state of affairs for me but I am trying to learn from it. It makes me sad that everyone is so down on the monkey. It's true that dysfunctional monkeys do bad stuff but without the monkey there would be no sex or art or jokes etc. All the cookie jars on the planet would be safe but a terrible price would be paid for security.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Maybe I'm channeling Stig here but I'd tend to think that people will act honorably in relationship to you if they respect themselves. If I tell somebody I don't respect that I'm going to do something, I do it.
And my original point was... I don't care if I respect you or not if the safety of my baby is in question.
Corri, am I missing the whole point about the maternal instinct thing? I like the idea of it. But in reality, and through my work history, I have seen plenty of women put men and all sorts of stuff before their kids. So I don't think the theory really holds up on that end.
And I'm sure the guys you are dating now MJ would probably respond similarly since you are not D yet. Not that you are looking for a serious R either so it's not really an issue.
I can't even express how untrue this is no matter what theories Stig throws about. GP was looking for a serious relationship and he did respond very strongly to "strong bunny" when I let her out. IMO, although I don't at all fault you, you acted very weak bunny in relationship to SoldierBoy. Telling a man that you will only follow him if he gives you assurances that you can trust him doesn't show trust. It does the opposite. Basically you said "I will follow you into the alley if you say 'I love you'" If you had actually trusted him, and/or yourself, you just would have gone. Another thing to remember is that all of the animals can be manifested in superficial ways. Women actually do lust a bit after leather jackets and motorcycles and men do actually fall in love with a pretty face or want to f*ck a nice rack. However, these superficial animal costumes don't hold up under real scrutiny. Soldier boy was a boy relative to you, not a soldier.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I agree with Corri that I'd do anything to protect my babies but I don't think it's a female trait. There have been plenty of men throughout history who have compromised their principles in some way or another simply because they loved someone.
Again, what I am talking about is a biological instinct. Not a decision to act based upon measured thought of feeling/honor <--- from which a man's loyalty stems. A woman's loyalty stems from her maternal instinct.
Like I said to Lou earlier, it doesn't mean that women are more loyal or love more; it means their love springs from different wells... that's all. But it is, I think, important to understand that, recognize it... for it is the epi-center of behavior... I think.
(Corri) I don't care if I respect you or not if the safety of my baby is in question.
Does this extend to all your (and by extension, any woman's) undeveloped ovum? If so, then what you guys are saying makes sense. Or could at least serve as a useful model.
(Mojo) The thing I can't figure out is if you Deida-following guys want to be the leader in your relationship or want an equal partnership.
A good commander can lead poor troops but he'd prefer to lead good troops. He might occasionally wonder why good troops seem so few and far between.
Of course that's pretty puppy of him, so he might oughta stop.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Basically you said "I will follow you into the alley if you say 'I love you'" If you had actually trusted him, and/or yourself, you just would have gone.
I don't understand that logic. Why would I trust a man who cannot be vulnerable with me, who cannot be emotional with me, who says one thing but does another? I do not give men my loyalty or trust or love if they do not return it. That's why Relationships have to be a two-way street. I was all bunnified over soldier guy but as soon as he showed me no strong puppy, my bunny ran into the bushes. That's not weak bunny, that's just practical self-protection.
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Soldier boy was a boy relative to you, not a soldier.
I agree with Corri that I'd do anything to protect my babies but I don't think it's a female trait. There have been plenty of men throughout history who have compromised their principles in some way or another simply because they loved someone.
Again, what I am talking about is a biological instinct. Not a decision to act based upon measured thought of feeling/honor <--- from which a man's loyalty stems. A woman's loyalty stems from her maternal instinct.
Like I said to Lou earlier, it doesn't mean that women are more loyal or love more; it means their love springs from different wells... that's all. But it is, I think, important to understand that, recognize it... for it is the epi-center of behavior... I think.
I guess I just disagree. My husband would lie, steal and commit murder to protect his kids, without thinking much about it. And like LFL, I've seen many women without a spark of "maternal instinct." I think you just assume it's universal because you happen to have it.
Corri, am I missing the whole point about the maternal instinct thing? I like the idea of it. But in reality, and through my work history, I have seen plenty of women put men and all sorts of stuff before their kids. So I don't think the theory really holds up on that end.
Oh, believe me, I've seen it, too. I'd say it goes along with 'survival of the fittest' kind of thing... but given we are now societal animals, it makes a bit fuzzier.
And, like I said earlier... just because you see that kind of behavior... does it mean you respect it? How does it make you feel? Would you call those women honorable? I wouldn't call them loyal, either, and that kind of supports your point, doesn't it?
