NikB #24

[NikB]

Whew that was a long post! Sorry about that. I get too wordy when I don't update for awhile.

Anyway.. wanted to journal one more thing that better explains my comment about him being my H part-time.

Basically it feels like things are normal and he wants to be my H on Sunday through Thursday, and weekends when it suits him, but not always. Often on Fri-Sat he's making these semi "hush hush" plans - but it's weird. He'll get a call and make kind of a production out of going into the other room and lowering his voice a bit. But he doesn't go far enough away that I can't hear him and he's still very obviously talking loud enough for me to hear him.

As an example... Sat. we already had tickets for the Dinosaur show, but knew it wouldn't go all that late. He gets a call from one of the "party friends," goes into the kitchen (right next to the room I was in), and starts talking in a just slightly lowered voice about getting on some VIP list for this club/party after the dinosaur thing.

My normal response has been try to ignore it or leave the room, but truly, it frustrates me a LOT. Why is it assumed I'm never invited anywhere if it's Fri or Sat?? And why be secretive (but not ACTUALLY secretive, just halfway?). Anyway.. I know, not worth dwelling on it, but it is just strange. So.. last Sat. I decided to try a little 180.

Rather than ignore it, I excitedly went into the kitchen going "OMG I have wanted to check out that place! What's the guy's #? I want to text him and get on the list!" He looked pretty taken aback, but then said (in a happy tone, not irritated) that he'd text my name to the guy along with his so we'd both be on the list.

We left for the dinosaur show shortly after that and he even invited my friend to go with us, and kept talking about being excited to go. My friend didn't go but H and I did - got all dressed up, it was fun! He finally introduced me to this whole group of friends - they're a bunch of young guys from work that he goes out with when in "teenybopper" mode (hey, at least they are guys). Most of them were surprised he was married. Ick. But, he introduced me as "my wife" (could have easily just said my name), and all night he was very attentive and kept commenting on how much fun it was. The club itself ended up being really bad, but we made the best of it - visited w/some friends, danced, enjoyed ourselves.

As I mentioned the power was back on when we got home but H was all bummed out about it since he'd done so much work earlier in the day - so we pretended it was still out and lit candles, made a fire, etc. We got to bed WAY too late.

Sunday was mostly yard cleanup.. we both kept wishing the power stayed out another day or two, weird huh? I need to figure out what it was about that - was it just the fact that everything was almost "forced" to be very different? Was it the "us against the elements" factor? I dunno... but I definitely think there's something positive to learn from that.