Originally Posted By: Kettricken
BTW, to a general audience, what the hell is this prejudice against the puppy? How unreasonable is that? Like every man doesn't have a puppy. What kind of LTR will thrive on pretending that isn't so? God knows I have no wish to spend an inordinate amount of time cowing the puppy. That is hell on desire. But come on. In a serious relationship (read: marriage) any man is going to have his puppy moments. It's authentic. If I was with a man who caved up whenever his puppy might be making an appearance, I would feel like he didn't trust me to care well for his puppy, whereas I am perfectly competent with puppies. (Again, I don't know where you guys are finding these women.) If he can't trust me with the whole zoo, why the hell is he with me at all? What motivation do I then have to expose my bunny? He gets to be one up by not having a puppy, but I still should display my bunny so he can be all rescuing and knightly? Sucks to that. Everyone wants to be the saviour sometimes. Nor would I desire a (committed) relationship where *nobody* shows their vulnerable animal. What's the point? Are we all not equally human and flawed and vulnerable?


Kett,
I can't agree with this more and I don't know if it rings true in all LTR, but I know in our case, things did not thrive until the strong puppy made an appearance. It took me grabbing it by the scruff of the neck and pulling it out of the cave but it was there and had not been killed ;\) I'm not so sure it was a matter of me not being trust worthy of caring for his puppy as much as it was IC never really allowing himself to be close enough or open enough to show any form of vulnerability...I could be wrong though. It has just really opened our relationship up for growth. I don't think it will ever be easy for IC to offer up strong puppy, but I think we are getting to a point where he realizes that I'm not going to take the boot to it if it does show up ;\)

And I agree, where are they finding these women????