Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[newnamenewlife]

I agree with this, but it is SOOOO hard to put into practice. Also, in our case there is no OW for H to leave in order to come back to me. It's not like I wish he was having an affiar, of course, but for him to leave me for the complete unknown hurts so terribly. So I think NC WILL definitely send H farther away. Easing off already has created more distance between us, not less.

MY H could have written the part about not believing in his gut and soul that he can love me the "right way." That, to me, is a crock, esp since he refuses to try even the tiniest bit--and he was the one who suggested we see a MC. We go and all he does is repeat that something is "missing" in him. It's pointless.

I know MLC is a real thing--that I see. My H is a depressed zombie, which is WHY he has nothing to give me. Still, why does he protest so much when it comes to trying subtle relationship/love-building stuff? He says he's worried it won't work, but my feeling is--OK, so then there's nothing to lose and let's try anyway. It will work if you work it. If you refuse to try, of course it won't work. There is a choice here--he can do something or he can do nothing. Again, I see that MLC is a crisis, but my H can still make choices for himself.

I am not pushing anymore. No crying, begging, pleading, no saying i love you, etc. We stilll live together and I try to act "as if" and I try to be kind and to let him know I am still here for him when he's ready. I do want to know what he is thinking his future without me will look like. He can't see a future with me--but clearly the alternative is complete fantasy.