Oh, boy. I must say I never thought I would be posting TO frank_d! And I'm sorry I am. But Amy made me do it!
I have to first admit to not being familiar with your whole situation, I feel like a read a lot of it some time ago, but at the time, I don't think I knew a frank_d from a james_k. So, this is more based on what see, just in this thread. So there may be things that I should be taking into account that I am not.
I feel like I'm reading about someone who is depending on their W to define their worth, and their happiness. This surprises me, a lot! I understand that you want support from you W, but obviously the support you want she can't give you, at least for now. This is where my lack of background kicks in, but it sounds to me that she isn't really through whatever journey she's taking. So, it may not be that she doesn't want to support, but more that she can't, she doesn't even know how. I think she is still lost, looking for something she may never find.
I don't really know where this leaves you, other than needing to be strong for yourself. Maybe not DBing for the marriage, but for you, like 'we' tell newcomers. She isn't going to help yo be the frank_d you want to be. You need to find your center, and get back to yourself. Without looking to her for validation. Get back to your own strength, and what you know makes you the best you can be. In the end, maybe it involves her, and maybe it doesn't, but I think for now it has to be 'all about you', she can watch from the sideline if she wants to.
Good luck to you frank_d, I know you have helped a lot of us here, I hope we can return the favor!
