Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #11

[Punktmann]

Imageer, I was thinking that her natural state of interaction is what you see when the OW is NOT around. (I'm mentally comparing this to the differences in how we interact with our (assuming normal R,) spouse in front of say, co-workers or in-laws.)

If she doesn't want to interact that way when OW is around, that could mean that she is walking on eggshells with OW due to OW's perceptions. I was also thinking that can't be good for their R, it is just pressure.

Also, who knows what other pressures she might be feeling about her behavior from OW.

That's why I thought it was a good sign in that regard too.

You should see W squirm when S8 mentions OW around W. There has been a couple of times while I was picking up the kids and OW is hiding that S8 will should out "Bye Sue!" W doesn handle that well.

Guilt, embarrasment?

I'm not trying to give you false hope or raise your expectations, but I was thinking of this in terms of indifference being the dangerous sign for us. Either she cares what you think, guilt or embarrasment, baby step, but good, or she is afraid of what OW thinks about how she acts towards you, (that can't be good for their R long term,)also a baby step, but still good.


BTW, venting for you here, but OW sounds pretty chicken doo-doo about this whole thing. Maybe it's just as well, it might just cause tension if she wasn't. Maybe I just don't like the whole OP idea.

Best,