In Support of Strong Puppy

[MJontheMend]

I guess the question is "Why doesn't it work that way?"

Really, I shouldn't have used faithfulness as my example. All I can say is that I've always been HD. I've been sexually active for 27 years of which I spent 19 in a SSM and I have never cheated on a man and I've never withheld sex except for purposes of increasing arousal. When I was casually dating NG and he told me that he was talking to his sons about the birds and the bees and he said he was also going to talk to him about relationships and how to avoid heartbreak, right then I "knew" that I had to be kind to him because he was somebody who had a heart that could be broken. I don't cheat because it's chicken-sh*tted and I don't cheat because it's unkind. I suppose that it is quite possible that there are people who don't cheat for better reasons.

The problem is that sometimes we do things that are unkind because we don't know that they are unkind because we don't see the other person's vulnerability in that regard. For instance, I know this is a lame example, but I would make more of an effort to "stay attractive' if I were in a committed relationship again because I now better understand male sexual vulnerability in that regard. Because I have gained that understanding, I would consider it unkind if I didn't make the effort.

However, every kind intention of the cow has to be matched with a boundary strongly enforced by the lioness and a strong show of vulnerability by the bunny and a strong show of selfishness by the monkey or I'll always be picking up crying puppies from their cribs and neglecting my own animals.