is he too young for MLC?

[WAS32]

So I have had a couple of really good days. Haven't seen H but he is not handling me be happy very well. i guess misery loves company. Not going to give him that.

I have been struggling with an evening out that I have had planned for awhile. I was suppose to go with H but am going with my friends instead. No that was not my choice it was his. He is going with OW who he is just friends with. Starting to really wonder. Anyways, my friend has issues with this OW and the drama could be intense. So i was not going to go as to avoid this sitch. But last night when I was talking to H he was all concerned about having enough money to buy a Terri Clark shirt at the concert. He hasn't even given me any money for the kids and he's worried about a shirt! I thought enough is enough. I am going to this concert and going to have a good time. ANd I don't care if there is drama. I don't get to go out often and I am not going to avoid doing things cuz he will be there. He should feel uncomfortable with me seeing him with OW. I am pretty sure they both lie to me. So I will ACT AS IF and have a good time. Looking forward to a night out with a whole lotta girls!!!

[mrarow]

Hope you have fun brave girl! I may be joining you on this We're separated--What Now? form real soon!Things are getting worse for my Marriage as I have admitted its over and must let her seperate and go to OM or to find herself

[WAS32]

H has been really down lately. All of his "friends"he has where he is living are letting him down. Jobs aren't working out and money is really tight for him. He has a whole lot of stress right now. I have completely stopped asking him what he's been up to and what he's doing. I don't want to know cuz I know I won't get the whole truth. I think it bothers him that i am not trying to pry into his life. I validate his feelings but give him no solutions to fix anything. That is a big 180 for me. I like to solve everything and have always given him a way out of tough sitch's that he gets into. Not anymore. He's 34 and he decided to leave so he needs to do this on his own. With me being neutral about everything he can't focus on me and any reaction i might give him. i am hoping this is going to make him take a good look at himself. I know he's looking for any reaction from me. He's been trying real hard to get me to blow up at him and I just won't do it. I got off his roller coaster and am letting him ride it alone.

Just a little journalling to keep me focused. Hope I am doing the right thing.

[WAS32]

I have never seen H so full of anger and hate before. He is so far gone I do not know how he is ever going to get himself out of this. I know this is not my problem to solve, but I am really worried about him. He is sinking fast. He is drinking so much lately. My C says it sounds like he is self medicating. This is partly why he is in a tight sitch with his money. I am trying to listen when he talks but I don't know what else to do. I have lots of things I am doing for myself and I can't help him. This is very frustrating. I wish I could wave a magical wand and bring him out of this. I am just sad for him today! Is this normal behavior for the WAS?

[LooseThread]

yep...my h is constantly angry at me, when I try and deal with any realities (eg child visitation etc). Of course it doesn't help that our communication styles clash badly. I like to have things written out and make lists, he would far rather fly by the seat of his pants and doesn't want to make a schedule., Then just when I think I am steeled enough to deal with him being angry he goes all mushy on me.

[WAS32]

Late last night I got some texts from h. he was telling me how lost he is and that he feels like he is being smoked out of a burning building. he's stressed about money and work but knows that is not my problem. I told him I could at least listen when he needs an ear. he really didn't like that answer. he wanted me to tell him to come home. I just can't do that right now. Tomorrow night he is going to a concert that we were suppose to go together to. But he is going with this OW who he still claims is just a friend. Why should I have to be his fall guy? He made these choices not me and I am not going to fix his mess. This may not be very good DBing but why should he be allowed to cake eat. I know he is in a bad spot lately, but I know that a big part of that is because I took the stability he is used to from me away. I have always been there for him and helped him with everything. I have let him come and go and not fought him on this living arrangment or even fought him about this OW. Now I just let him try to figure stuff out for himself and he is not happy with me. And no I am not being mean or nasty about this, I am being happy and busy GAL.

So tomorrow night I am going to the concert but with other people and might run into him with OW. It shoukd be interesting to say the least. But I will have the support of at least 5 good friends with me. I am going to have a good time. There are 3 different singers and I like them all. IT WILL BE FUN.

[LooseThread]

Good girl...u go and have fun!

[WAS32]

So I haven't been able to post for a few days because my whole world changed in an instant.I went to the concert and had a great time. H had way better seats and was trying to rub it in my face at times, but I had way more fun. He looked so sad that night. And very lost. After concert we were texting a little. He wanted to know where I was so he could go there too. I said no because he was with OW and I wasn't going to have good night ruined with drama. So he kept telling me where he was and wanted me to come see him. I told him no and that I was headed back home. It's an hour drive from where we were. i sent him a text saying good night when I got home and crawled into bed. A couple of hours later i woke up to him kissing my neck telling me how much he loves me and can't live without me. I was shocked and starting to get a headache. So we crawled into bed and went to sleep. The next day we talked for quite awhile and had a really nice day together.

Anyways, to make a really long story a little shorter he has been here until today. But he will be back tomorrow with his belongings. He wants to come home and has been helping me with moving furniture around and putting all the camping and x-mas stuff away. (something I usually have to do by myself)

I was felling a little smothered today though. Not sure if that is normal. I am a little scared about him coming home. And how much should I know about what has been going on in the last 5 months? Do I ask about OW? I think she is out of pic, but I still don't know if anything really happened there anyways. How do I rebuild my trust for him again?

I know I have a million questions about this, guess just a little nervous right now. I know I have to put my heart back out there if I want it to work this time, just a little scared.

Thanks for reading, just tring to figure this out!