I was just sitting here thinking about disappearing for the evening and not leaving him a note. When I got home he was headed out to run. It's so peaceful when he's not here.
You are right, of course. I know he ignores everything I say.
He sent me an email to work today with some more song lyrics at the end of it. It made no sense to me so I wrote him back and told him I didn't know what he was trying to tell me, that I didn't speak "song" and I guess it made him mad. He wrote back and said "never mind."
He's mad that I won't "fake it for the kids" or some such crap. I want peace and a real R with a real man. Not some 14 year old who explains all his thoughts with song lyrics. I like music as much as most, but come on.
I do believe he's jealous of my R with the kids, but he had many chances to choose to get to know them and their friends. As they got older he tuned them out for the most part. Not my fault. I know their friends and what is going on in their lives because I'm interested.
I do like the idea of not taking his bait anymore. I've heard his bull too many times and I KNOW he is no where near ready to really deal with any serious issues.
You know, I'm really, really tired. Really tired. This is so old and I just need a BREAK!!!!
Sorry, I would love to go out on the balcony and scream some profanity at the top of my lungs! Instead, I take the dog for a walk . . .
"Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." Mary Oliver
