Mopsey, Distancing is part of the depression. I seriously doubt the therapist would tell him to do so unless he wants to make sure that your h can really step out of your life for good. However, I seriously that he would tell him to do it.
Mopsey, the drawing close and then pulling away is very typical behavior for these guys. Your h is just really getting into the deep depression and that's what happens--they distance themselves for just about everything and everyone that is near and dear to them. They go into hibernation and then one day, they have some sane moments and they poke their heads out of the cave to see what's happening. After a while, they go back into hibernation all over again until they've worked through the depression. That's why it is very important not to over analyze what they say or do. It's never the same way in 10 minutes.
So, let the man go to his cave and one day soon, he'll contact you again for a little while. All I ask is that you live your life to the fullest and be there for your children. Your h will be just fine for the man upstairs is watching over him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
