Sun, Until this man works through some of his issues, you aren't going to be able to start over from scratch. The best thing you can do is just live together and yet keep some distance between you, almost like roommmates.
He's drowning you out when you try to talk to him. Why? He's like a brat on a rebelling spree. They tune you out and think they know everything. So, if he wants to live there as ships passing in the night, I'd do it for a while and see just how long it takes him to start sniffing around you again. He continues to draw you into his web w/bait and then slam dunks you, so do the opposite, speak and keep moving along. Live your life as if you own him no explanation as to what you are doing, where you are going, etc. The old saying "be careful for what you ask for"...well, give it to him in double dose.
He's extremely jealous of the relationship you have w/the kids. That's his problem and most of them do go through this period too. Ignore his behavior as best you can and remember, you can't control him, but you sure can work around him to save yourself.
Good luck!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
