I helped D3 clean up the aftermath of the cyclone that hit her room. Oh that little girl!!
I hadn't eaten before H got home. He kind of moaned a bit when I asked him to just add some for me, but he did it. Then told D3 that she needed to let me eat, as mommy was hungry too. I thanked him and tried to talk a little, but he was kind of quiet. I think he's a bit upset that his brother isn't taking him to the Chargers/Colts game this weekend. Oh well, I'm sure he'll find something else to do anyway! And, I'm very happy that my BIL chose to do that. My BIL and H are, or were, very much alike. It makes me very happy to see that my BIL is finally straightening up and seeing what's important in his life. Wish H would take a lesson from that. Last year when they were talking about divorcing, I think H was relieved because it meant that we weren't the only ones with issues or possibly headed that way.
H got angry with D3 last night. She wasn't being cooperative in getting to bed. There were times last night that I could see the...."let me out of here", look on his face. I know we all have that feeling sometimes when we're tired and things get to be too much, but it seems like the WAS sees it as....this is why I need space or this isn't what I want at all, instead of just a bad night or a tired child.
Rob, I'm glad that you pointed out a few things that seemed to shake H up. Like I'd said, I was the one that really felt shaken. H's words the other night were really hurtful, but just for a second. Then I thought, these are the words of a drunken, pathetic, lost person. A person I love, but still drunk, pathetic and lost. I asked myself how much he could hate himself to be able to say such cruel things to me. He said things like that to me during his last A. At that time, I took it very personal. It's hard not to. I realized yesterday that is last A had ended by this time. That made me sad. I also realized that the personal attacks he made toward me during the last A came during the last month or so of the A. I don't want to compare them because I know this one is still strong, but it's odd that he hadn't taken shots like this at me before.
I do think the A has taken cover into darkness. H doesn't spend as much time on the pc and he's not sneaking off as much for his calls. Now I do understand that it's not been much more than a week, but these are the things I've noticed. I'm sure they think that they're being extra careful now. Whatever!
About going to H's dad's. I will go. H would find a way to let me know if he didn't want me to go. And, he told me that if I wanted to go, then I should go. I won't push H to play happy family while we're there. I don't think either of us would be able to fake that anyway. I'll just try to have fun and make sure D3 is having fun.
Oh, gee and the countdown is on. I turn 40 one month from yesterday. What a way to celebrate a milestone birthday!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
