My advice is to validate her feelings of course. I know you are great at that. Validate her feelings that the old pattern wasn't working and if the two of you try to work things out it is clear that changes will have to happen. It sounds like she is starting to rethink the offer to let you stay w/ her while you are in between places. I'm thinking you might want to look harder for other options. I would hate for this to cause a big backslide for you.
I think she is thinking about a lot of things - She hasn't spoken about our R in months, so I agree that it is more than a coincidence that it came up before we're looking at living together for a while. Personally, I believe it will be an absolutely horrendous experience for both of us, or it will be really good.
Today is strange - I'm home again with D, and I wasn't planning on talking to W. Of course, she IM's me asking how D is doing. Seems friendly, chatty, talks a lot. She then starts with "Hey, I have a stupid favor to ask of you". Turns out she is $20 short in her checking account to pay her rent this month (even though she put in $800 from a payroll advance), and asked me to put $20 into her account for her. She had the cash on her, but rather than go and deposit it herself, she asked me to transfer in $$ from my account. I ended up putting in $50, since I figured she might need some extra, but I did ask her first.
I don't get why last night she told me she didn't want me to help her ever, then today she's asking to borrow money when she could solve the problem without including me at all.
