Here is one of our tough issues right now. I lost weight when I found out about the affair. I kept it off for two years. Then an old cycle started who started it I don't know but H's affection started dropping off and I started gaining the weight back. He isn't attracted to me any more and I am so hurt and angry about that. He rubs my back like he's polishing a silver sugar bowl or something and that is about the extent of affection in private. Interestingly, he will give me a kiss around friends like he wants people to think we have a sex life but it's gone even further downhill since our vacation in Feb. I had a cancer scare (a skin cancer that can metastasize and a place that the surgeon was concerned about enough to schedule the surgery quickly) and my H acted like nothing at all was different and just kept on talking about work. Unfortunately, I do express discontent, which definitely makes things worse because then he feels oh so criticized by his mean wife. He is the most considerate, responsible, concerned, kind guy to everyone else! OK I've devolved into a shameless rant...must not express discontent, must not express discontent, it doesn't help, it hurts to express discontent AHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
