I think you are absolutely right that you need to kick start the GAL in your new home.
I just moved across country for my H's job also. I think that almost makes us depend upon them a little too much because we don't have our own friends yet or an established pattern. I have wayyyy too much time on my hands.
I still jump when his phone rings, wondering if she's trying to contact. Time is the only thing that'll ease all of this for us, hon, and there just isn't any way to speed this process up. It is truly out of our control as HB (way to go Michigan girl!) pointed out.
Because of all the added stress... your move, holidays, etc., I was just hoping you could "drop the rope" for a bit and take care of you. Not forever. Just until you get yourself back in a better place.
I know this isn't fair. No one will blame you if you feel it's time to move on. But if you start back from the beginning (GAL & PMA)and make yourself happy you'll be in a better position to battle and have a clearer idea what you need from your new relationship with your H.
Detach from him and whatever he is doing. You can't control it anyhow. Ever. Trusting is a decision, just like forgiveness, that you have to make every day (near as I can tell), when you are ready. Until then, throw yourself into your own life and make a great one in your new area. Research the town? Come up with points of interest to talk with him about? Make a game of coming up with conversations that has nothing to do with OW and wait to see how long it is before he wonders why you NEVER bring it up again? I dunno sweetie, I just think you're chasing your tail and driving him away and if that's NOT what you want to do then I'm sorry, but you're going to have to change something about the dance the two of you are doing.
I wish you lived by me so we could get together and take this town on and come up with amazing things to blow our husband's minds with our amazingness. ;-)
