I suppose I could try, but everytime I attempt a "let's just start over from scratch and see what happens" conversation he points out how he wants nothing to do with me and then goes on to shred me to bits by pointing out everything he hates about me.
His idea of making the most of it is to stay as far away from each other as possible and pretend in front of the kids that things are fine so that he can fool them into thinking he's trying.
I know, I know. This sounds negative. You have no idea what it's like to live with such a man. I don't recognize him any longer. I used to be able to see the man I once knew in there, but no more.
He won't talk to me! He says that every conversation ends in an argument. D18 pointed out to me the other night that she had seen that no matter what I say he tries to claim I'm starting an argument and gets all worked up. It's not just me, the kid's see it to. I have begged him to sit down with me and have an adult conversation without all the shouting, and he simply cannot. I don't know if its guilt, or what, but he detests me right now. He also sees us as in a competition for the kids and I don't. I am just their mother, period, always have been. They are ashamed of him and don't by his bull anymore.
"Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." Mary Oliver
