what helps me get through this stuff is to take out all the emotion, and look at the facts.
the "In sickness and in health" vow, only applys if she is the one sick, and you had better remain healthy.
you keep the cash flowing, or she won't feel safe.
it's ok for her to tell you she feels atraction to another, because you happen to be empty, spending years "fixing" her. after all, affairs don't drain your soul, stressing about your financial well being, it's a breeze.
so, in her eye's, you can't show any cracks in the armour, just keep being the money machine, validate her every thought and action, compliment her from sun up to sundown.
sounds like an equal partnership.
after years of being a gaurdian, you lose yourself. Frank, you're obviously lost. you have that incredible pain inside, and you can't quite put your finger on it, can't figure out how to be whole again.
I've been in shoe's similar to yours.
I do know that you can't find your way out when you keep getting pulled back in.
the simple fact is, you need time and space to heal and recharge. time without additional drama and unneccessary stresses. I'm trying to do this now, I don't have the answer yet, but it took 25 years for me to get here, probably will take some time to get out. But I do know that if someone is going to come along for the ride, they should be supportive, and non judgmental.
