Figures I wrote this great post, hit submit and it goes belly up on me.
John you know you say it is cut and dry, and I think for some it is. I know it was for me it seemed until I faced it that W was having an A. Well this is the 2nd one in this seperation and this time it is cut and dry, and it isn't the A. This is why I'm leaving my W.
After more than 6 months, I have grown a lot. I have quit drinking, I have read a lot of R books, I have been to C'ing and will probably to some more. I have gotten the job of my dreams, I'm a homeowner. I'm building up my own practice. I'm making new friends and meeting some incrediable women. I had my thyroid fixed, totally changine my mood swings. Now if I could just tackle nicotine, chantrix I guess. But as I keep peeling back the layers, I have found that there is a man under there, no longer a scared little boy with little to offer.
My W is a clubber, she lives pay check to pay check, looking for the next party. Sexual promiscuity is a top priority for her. She doesn't take care of her body, soul or mind. I'm rather sure she is smoking pot again.
But what it comes down to, is well, not to sound trivial, but college is over. Some time around 30, noticed I used sometime, it is diffrent for us all, you have to grow up and decide what you want.
I have chosen RESPONSIBILITY. Why, because great power comes with it, but also great reward. I get to choose what I want to do, participate in what I want and have control over my self worth. I can actually acquire things, a home, I can plan for the future. I know that each day will be better then the next.
So I have quit drinking, I have read a ton of R books, I have got a home, I found my dream job, I am building my practice. I fixed my health problems, I'm making new friends and meeting incrediable women. I have control over my tomorrow.
W is a clubber, she wants to live pay check to pay check. She likes the night life, premiscous sex, being broke and feeling bad for herself. She would rather play the role of a victim in this world and have self-pity.
I'm saying which way is better, maybe we all should party, but I'm choosing the way I want it it be, and if W doesn't fit within that, then she doesn't fit. Is there some ill will? Sure, who wouldn't have it, but that will subside in time and hopefully we are great co-parents. But I'll no longer be a part of her self-destructive patterns.
Thanks for the support, I'll still be posting. Not going anywhere yet.
