You are supposed to feel bad. Your whole world was ripped to pieces.
On top of that your husband wants to expose your daughter to the OW, how shameful is that?
Your sadness and rage are justified. This means you are human. And deep inside you, you are really full of love..but that means you can get hurt and angered when someone violates all that is sacred to you.
Now what do you do?
1. I think you got the part about going dark and not chasing.
2. GAL, more importantly, re-invent yourself. You can flourish.
Flourish. You are woman of beauty and deep passion. Let her come out to play.
