I have written up a first draft of an agreement. I am still scrutinizing it to the best of my lay abilities as I can. After all this hostility -- and the fact that I know that my W, despite her words about "mediation" and "saving our finances" is still actively seeking out a lawyer (a paralegal friend of mine let me know that W has already approached a couple of heavy-hitting "family" law practices in the last couple of weeks), I know I need to have my version of the SA reviewed by my own atty.
The way I see it is that my W expects me to lie down and take her abuse like a whipped dog, to accept her rebukes without question and to quietly acquiesce to her demands in the terms of the divorce. She refuses to acknowledge anything positive about me, certainly never in front of me, and refuses to show any respect for me at all, even in front of my S's.
Jesus said turn the other cheek. And I have. But it has done more harm than good. I am obligated, instead, for my own sake as well as that of my children and my spouse, to not give into her unreasonable, selfish demands. I am no longer playing the "nice guy" for her or giving her the benfit of a doubt. No, I have to show her enough love -- agape love -- that I let her go, if she so desires, but not on her terms. I will recover some dignity out of this and balance the scales more equitably.
I know it is time I let her go and that is the path I am now on. I am finding that it takes time to sever the ties ... and avoid hemorrhaging in the process.
